Farewell, Sweet Friend

We had to say and sad, sudden, and final goodbye to Hank on Saturday morning. He and I went on a run in the morning and about a mile and a half in he wouldn't go any further. I thought he was just tired or dehydrated or something, but it turns out that one of the muscles in his heart gave out. I was stuck in the middle of the OC&E trail by myself with no cell phone, so I had to tie him to a tree and run home to get Phil, who jumped in his Jeep and got there as fast as he could. He took Hank to the closest vet's office, but Hank wasn't getting any better and his poor heart gave out a few minutes after that. Thankfully, he didn't die on the trail by himself and Phil was able to hug and hold him at the end.

It was terribly hard to have it happen so suddenly (he was only 7-1/2 years old), but we're trying to focus on positive things. He didn't suffer, we didn't have to watch him get old and make a decision to put him down, he died while he was doing one of his very favorite things, etc. It's still so hard, though! We already miss him so very, very much. It's amazing how much a part of the family a dog can be, and what a huge void we feel right now with him gone, even though he stayed outside most of the day. We both had trouble falling asleep last night and woke up super early... it was too quiet in the bedroom without Hank's constant panting. :)

We decided to have him cremated and save his ashes to spread out at my parents' house, since he loved being there so much. My sister Becky told me to try to think about him in heaven... that maybe there's a little boy up there who died early from cancer or something and God needed a sweet, loving dog for him. That helps, but sometimes I want to offer that little boy Jackson's bike or something in exchange for my dog back! Yesterday was pretty rough for Phil and I, but today is starting out a little better. This is the first pet that Phil has lost, and he took it pretty hard.

Here are some of our favorite memories and pictures of our sweet baby Hank...

We got him a few months after we moved to Alaska in 2002. Phil was deployed to Thailand, I think. We had talked a little bit about getting a second dog, but hadn't made any real decisions. Out of the blue one day while he was in Thailand, Phil e-mailed me a picture of Hank that he found on a pound-puppy website. He only said, "Looks like a cool dog," but to me that was a green light to go get him. That same night I drove out to the middle of nowhere in Palmer, Alaska by myself to pick him up. Phil and I have always loved St. Bernards, and Hank was a St. Bernard/black lab mix. His dog mommy was full St. Bernard. The lady who was keeping Hank for the pound kept telling me over and over that he wasn't going to look like a St. Bernard, though. I think she was afraid that we would see that he wasn't changing color as he aged and bring him back to the pound. But, of course, we could never do that because we loved him from day one. Phil wasn't even mad when he got home from Thailand and saw that I had adopted a dog without asking him. Here's a picture of the first time he met Hank...

He was such a cute puppy...

Heidi was a bit unsure at first...

...but she soon loved him as much as we did. They became best buddies and Heidi loved to use him as a headrest.

Hank loved living in Alaska. He loved playing in the snow. He loved camping. He loved hiking. He loved being outside in general.

He also loved living in Florida. He loved going out on the boat. He loved playing in water (although he would only go in up to the top of his legs).

He was a bit neurotic, which sometimes drove us crazy, but was also part of what made him so lovable. He had major issues with food, and would only eat under the most perfect of circumstances. This was at my parents' house after a few days of not eating... he finally ate in the living room with us sitting and watching TV close by. And he was laying down....

One of the funniest memories we have was when Hank sprayed anal gland yuck all over our bedroom when four of our friends ran into our house unexpectedly in these huge foam hats...

He didn't do much of this...

...which Phil thinks may have contributed to his short life. We weren't really sure how much he actually slept. He was a very light sleeper and would get up and move all over the bedroom throughout the night. He woke up at the slightest noise, which I appreciated because it made me feel safer when Phil was gone, but it was probably pretty hard on him.

He loved being close to and playing with other dogs...

But his absolute, number one favorite thing was being with us. He would do anything for just the slightest little pet, even with a foot.

He was the best running partner because he always stayed right beside us. Even at the end of his life when his heart was hurting, he wanted so badly to stay right with me.

And anytime you sat down at his level... look out! He would get right up in your face with love and kisses.

Jackson absolutely loved Hank. Luckily, he's young enough that he's only asked us twice so far, "Where's Hank is?" We tell him Hank's in heaven and he doesn't question it further. It would be really hard to have to watch Jackson grieve this loss, too.

He was so full of life and love. The sweetest, most forgiving and unconditionally loving dog. He was our baby, our HanKoos, our KoosBear, our Koosy-Koos, our crazy, neurotic, panting, energetic, happy boy. We are so sad to lose him sooner than we ever thought we would, but we will always remember him and treasure the wonderful years that we had together. We will always love you so much, Hank! Thank you for bringing so much joy to our lives!